Watch Your Mouth: Criticizing
January 12, 2025Pastor Patrick presented today's message, "Watch Your Mouth: Criticizing." A video of today's message is here on YouTube.
Proverbs came up a couple times in today's message, and rightly so. Proverbs is often referred to as "the book of wisdom," and rightly so. There's plenty of wisdom throughout the Bible, but Proverbs does take the cake for witty and to the point "words to the wise." Here are a few related to today's subject that were not used in the message:
Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Choose your words carefully.
Proverbs 21:9, "Better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman." Overly critical people (of either sex) can drive one crazy.
Proverbs 25:11, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver." Spoken like a true Hope Builder (see the message for the reference).
Proverbs 27:15-16, "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand." Overly critical types are hard to take.
Proverbs 11:9, "With his mouth the ungodly man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous are rescued." Being critical can be ungodly.
Proverbs 11:12, "Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue." The former usually comes without much thinking, the latter requires careful thought and some experience having been in their shoes (truly understanding). See the Bonus below: Do, Then Understand.
Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Control your tongue as you would a weapon.
Proverbs 25:28, "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." Especially with their tongue.
Proverbs 12:18, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Words mean things and can penetrate souls; take care in their use.
Proverbs 13:3, "Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin." Undue criticism is often criticism not thought through.
Proverbs 21:23, "Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Criticizing reflects more about the criticizer than the criticizee.
Proverbs 16:24, "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Your kind words can carry others far.
Proverbs 17:9, "Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Let it go.
Proverbs 10:19, "Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues." Don't beat a dead horse.
Proverbs 15:28, "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil." Be thoughtful in any response.
And here's a Hebrew proverb: "There are three people whose lives are unworthy - the overly compassionate, the hot-tempered, and the hypercritical."
I'll make the same caveat Patrick made. The above warnings about criticism are for nitpicky, unjust criticism that is more about tearing down than building up. Proverbs also has wisdom regarding the opposite, building up with valid suggestions and accepting legitimate or constructive criticism. Here are a few examples:
Proverbs 10:17, "He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, But he who ignores reproof goes astray."
Proverbs 15:5, "A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is sensible."
Proverbs 28:23, "He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue."
The Biblical Hebrew word closest to criticize is raw-gan (רָגַן). It generally means grumble, rebel, murmur, slander, and whisper; all in a negative sort of way. Something that came rather easily to the Israelites. This word may relate more to last week's topic under Watch Your Mouth: Complaining.
I think if I ever grow weary of the Torah, I'm headed to Proverbs next.
I also think "Watch Your Mouth" will be the topic for a couple Family Dinners.
Bonus
Psalm 23:1
Here are some things you may not know about the 23rd Psalm, probably the most well-known Psalm...
It doesn't start with "The Lord is My Shepherd." It starts with "A psalm of David" which is what begins 8 of the 150 psalms. "A psalm of David" also helps introduce 9 other psalms along with "to the chief musician" or the like. Another 7 psalms start with "to David."
"Psalm" is not the most helpful translation of the word mizmor (miz-more', מִזְמוֹר). Melody or music or "poem set to music" would be better. These mizmors would be used back in the day much like we use hymns or worship songs today.
The above info about the 23rd Psalm came from an email I received from The Isaiah Projects. I get a weekly email from them, and this past week they started a series on Psalm 23. The series continues next week.
The original music for Psalm 23 is forever lost. However, I do have a favorite modern setting: The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23) by John Rutter (YouTube). It's part of a larger requiem by Rutter.
Back in July, I mentioned a hauntingly beautiful rendition of the 23rd Psalm sung in Hebrew with lyre accompaniment: THE LYRE OF MEGIDDO, Psalm 23 in Hebrew (YouTube).
Here's more I wrote about Psalm 23 in Be Made New: Stress, February 18, 2024.
Bonus2
Winning Strategies
How does a tiny group of people surrounded by major powers survive and thrive throughout history?
1. By not destroying each other within the group. That is, by following something like the Ten Commandments that strive to keep the peace within the group.
And 2. by multiplying. By behaving in ways that promote birth and successful child raising within a cycle that can readily repeat.
That's exactly what the Torah offers. One could totally reject all the "god stuff" in the Torah and simply follow the rules of behavior. That can lead a society to do well.
Folks do argue that the notion of a greater being helps to keep people motivated, and that may well be true, but that doesn't change the stated premise of "if you follow these rules..."
I recently heard this idea put succinctly by Rudyard Lynch in a podcast titled Explaining Ancient Israel. He made these couple of points very briefly in this otherwise quite lengthy discussion (1:40:21), all of which is worth watching.
Bonus3
Do, Then Understand
Exodus 24:7, literally - "All that the Lord has spoken we will do and we will hear (or listen)." How can you do something before you hear about it? Given that translators have wrestled with this in the past, Prager suggests the best translation for hear or listen, in this case, is understand. This is similar to saying "I hear you" by which we usually mean "I understand what you're saying."So the verse is really saying, "We will do and we will understand."
It's interesting to note at the outset here that Pastor Patrick mentioned in his message (Watch Your Mouth: Criticizing) that not understanding a situation can often lead to unjust criticism. Unless you've been there and done that, you probably shouldn't be very critical.
This is a major life lesson, one that "learn by doing" educators have grasped. This is not to downplay being given some instruction ahead of time. It's OK to be told how to land when skydiving and to practice that a few times from a step stool. But, you won't truly understand skydiving until you do it (at which point you'll probably keep on doing it all your life or swear it off forever).
You are neither going to learn to do something well nor ever understand the value of doing something if you don't do it first.
No one understands marriage until they do marriage a while. No one understands having kids until they have kids. The value of doing certain religious rituals is often poo-poo'ed by those who have never done them. And cherished by those who have. Both groups are familiar with how it's done. Only one group has actually done it. Observing Sabbath is one of those rituals where you just need to start doing it, then you'll understand its value.
This notion is similarly expressed in Psalm 34:9, "Taste and see how good the Lord is."
This can be looked at in another way. The Israelites are committing to understanding the rituals, not just doing them. Habit and blind faith don't cut it. When it comes to the laws, however, just following them is sufficient though not ideal.
It's also worth noting that the verse we're talking about in Exodus comes after the Israelites have already promised "to give it a go." Exodus 24:3, "When Moses went and told the people all the Lord's words and laws, they responded with one voice, 'Everything the Lord has said we will do.'"
Prager sums up his discussion of Exodus 24:7 with, "ethical behavior is an end in itself; ritual behavior is a means to an end."
Credit: Rational Bible: Exodus, pp. 357-359.
Pictured above... One of the grandkids recently had a rather frustrating experience that taught this lesson in spades. The task was to install lights on an existing Lego structure. The lights were unbelievably small, and the wires were barely perceptible; both were fragile. There were times he had to walk away to keep from throwing the whole thing across the room in frustration. But he persevered, and not only did he learn something about how to complete such tiny-stuff tasks, he also got to literally see the value after it was all done. The whole family marveled at the results.
By the way, this verse and discussion of it was our Family Dinner (our "Sabbath") activity this past weekend.
Bonus4
"Hanukkah miracle" - Ancient Coins Discovered
During this most recent Hannukah holiday, a rare collection of about 160 coins more than 2,000 years old was unearthed in the Jordan Valley of Israel.
Photo from CBS News: "Rare trove of ancient coins found in Israel: 'Hanukkah miracle'"
The date and site of these coins is not far from the location of the miracle of Hannukah in both time and space. Click on the link below the photo for more information...