Living Together: Family

May 12, 2024

Pastor Patrick presented today's message, "Living Together: Family." Here's a video of the message.

Patrick opened with a reference to the Shema (sh'ma, short e [almost no vowel at all], accent on ma, שְׁמַ֖ע). If you're not familiar with this very important Torah segment, may I refer you to Bonus: The Shema (Sh'ma).

For a 5-minute video on the benefits of teaching the Bible to your kids, see: The Best Book to Read to Your Kids.

For most of monotheism, certainly at first, the home was the heart of the religion and the society. The parents were in greatest measure responsible for educating their children about "the Way" (shorthand for knowing and following God's instructions). This has crept further and further from reality over the years to today where not much teaching of this kind is done in the home and almost none is done in society. In fact, one could argue that in today's largely secular world, children will experience anti-religious behavior and values. As Patrick is suggesting, we need to get back to solid religious education in the home. I would add... and when you must relinquish their education to organizations outside the home, make sure the organization(s) you choose are filled with Godfearing people. For more on godfearing, read Bonus: Godfearing.

As fate would have it, I wrote the Bonus below before hearing this week's message. Turns out it fits right in (as most Family Dinner topics would, I hope). Afterall, the whole idea of these Family Dinners is to share aspects of "The Way."

Bonus

The Little Things

For this past Family Dinner topic, we (Lynn and I) chose "The Little Things." You know, common courtesy, manners, etiquette, and the like. Turned out to be interesting and a lot of fun. But I get ahead of myself...

The first question that crossed my mind was "are there Bible references to things like common courtesy?" Turns out there are if you read into them a little.

1 Corinthians 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." I expanded the last phrase to include "representing God in a good light." It's good for God if His people interact well with other people, even on the little things.

Ephesians 4:29, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." We concluded that doing these little things often amounts to extending grace to the recipient.

Leviticus 19:32, "You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord." "Respecting your elders" was, in fact, one of the common courtesies that came up. But again, with a little expansion of that idea, we get to treating everyone with the respect they're due by doing these little things. I also reminded the group of something we've talked about before. Note the "I am the Lord" at the end. It's the same phrase that finishes "Love your neighbor as yourself, I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:18b). "I am the Lord" makes it clear who is issuing this command, the fact that it is a command, but most importantly, reminds us that God is always watching, even when no one else sees what you're doing or not doing.

We also noted that these common courtesies are valuable in these general areas: respect and dignity, positive interactions, social cohesion, successful endeavors, role modelling, and conflict resolution.

The evening's exercise was to list as many common courtesies as we could. The group will give an answer and I would give an answer, alternating, until either the group or me could not come up with another. The family won, but not until after we had generated quite a list. Thanks, Brahm, for being our scribe!

• Don’t listen to or spread gossip.
• Help people pick up things dropped.
• Open doors. Hold doors open.
• Leave a door or gate as you found it.
• Knock first at a closed door.
• Let someone merge when driving.
• Apologize when you bumped into someone.
• Say Please and Thank You and I’m Sorry.
• Say “You’re welcome.” “No problem” devalues the moment.
• Don’t stand in front of elevator doors.
• Respond to greetings; acknowledge people.
• Help clean up.
• Clean up after yourself.
• Let people finish what they’re saying.
• Bad moods are like bad breath – don’t spread it around.
• Be positive.
• Pick up after your pet.
• Treat servers with respect.
• Smile at people.
• Be on time.
• Shake hands when you meet someone.
• Give people their personal space.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Maintain eye contact and open body language
• Don’t be looking at your phone or off into the distance.
• Stow your phone when with others.
• Take turns speaking.
• Speak at an appropriate volume.
• Avoid controversial topics.
• Apologize if you upset someone.
• Double check spelling and grammar.
• Avoid sarcasm (too easily misunderstood).
• Wear appropriate clothing.
• Keep your space neat and tidy.
• Respect others time and privacy.
• No distractions at the dinner table (e.g. phones).
• Don’t reach for food, ask for it to be passed.
• Take small bites.
• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Elbows off the table.
• Pass food to the right.
• Wait for everyone to be seated and served before eating.
• Bus your plates, silverware, etc.
• Don’t be loud in public (on the phone or talking with people).
• Silence your phone in public.
• No talking/texting during a movie.
• Say a proper goodbye.
• Wait your turn patiently.
• Be on time. This usually involves planning to be reasonably early.
• Walk with the flow of people.
• Don’t make noise or turn on bright lights in the house at night.
• Admit your mistakes and make good on them.
• Be patient in line.
• Ask questions. Listen carefully to answers.
• Compliment details.
• Exercise self-control; is it really worth getting upset about.
• Appreciate others’ time: don’t waste it, be concise.
• Know when to let go.
• Keep your word.
• Call/Text ahead if you’re going to be late.
• Introduce newcomers to a group.
• Send thank you notes.
• Choose being kind over being right.
• Avoid negativity.
• Give your full attention to whom you are with.
• Don’t groom in public.
• Replace the toilet paper if you use the last of it.
• Yield your seat to anyone who needs it more than you.
• Help keep pathways clear.
• When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
• Observe proper hygiene.

There are even more on the white board.

Understand that your behavior affects other people and act accordingly. Do the right thing whether you get anything out of it or not.

National Common Courtesy Day is March 21st of each year.